(Although I hated every single frame of "Deadpool & Wolverine," I wouldn't spoil it for anyone who wants to flush their $15 down the toilet by seeing it. So, NO SPOILERS)
Look, if you know me, or have followed me for any given amount time, you know that I couldn't possibly care less about comic book movies. You can take your DC's, and your Marvel's, and all of your Universes, and pretty much keep them. I just don't care.
I can count on one hand the truly great films that have come out of those genres/worlds, and maybe another hand to count the films that are just good, and that's about it.
I find most of them to be mediocre entertainment at best, idiotic nonsense at worst, and absolutely cynical, money grubbing rip-offs, ALL the time.
Figuring out ways to suck more money from people's wallets seem to be the only reason these things exist. Characters get killed off and brought back, timelines get mixed up and changed, solely to make sure the suckers come back for the next installment.
I realize that this is a common practice in comic books, but it doesn't make it good, or justify the insanely lazy writing and lousy film making. I absolutely agree with filmmakers like Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, Jodie Foster, and many more, who have likened these movies to soulless theme park rides, that come directly off of conveyor belts, and not from any true cinematic expression.
This has been an accepted criticism of these types of movies for a while, and in some way to blatantly confront the criticisms and clichés of these movies, along comes the Deadpool character and movies.
This smartass alter-ego of human Wade Wilson, has regenerative healing powers, superhuman strength, and master marksman skills, and was created for the comics in 1991. Deadpool has slowly become a rebel who makes running commentary about the very things I just mentioned.
After a few cameos and appearances in other films, Deadpool finally got his own movie franchise featuring the predominantly annoying, always smug, Ryan Reynolds, as the modern anti-hero who breaks the fourth wall and makes jokes directly to the audience.
Your fondness for this character depends almost entirely on your patience with the gimmick, your tolerance of Reynolds, and your appreciation of the humor.
Well, I possess NONE of those things: I think the gimmick is tired and lame, I can't stand Reynolds, and, simply put, the shit isn't funny.
But, people (inexplicably) love this stuff, which is why we are now being subjected to a third Deadpool movie, and in this one, they drag Wolverine into the mess.
Ryan Reynolds (who is now a producer, and one of the six writers...yes, it actually took SIX people to write this garbage) returns to spout more wanna-be-snappy, giggly, dirty little one-liners that acknowledge the flaws, the clichés, and plots of the MCU, all while winking at the camera, and trying to execute the very crap he is making fun of.
Well, you can't have your cake and it eat too, especially when the cake is spoiled and over-baked.
The desired shock you are supposed to feel when Deadpool rips apart Disney, or Fox, or the MCU (or actors' previous roles, real-life relationships, etc.) NEVER happens because:
The material isn't remotely funny.
The level of the humor never rises above the second grade
Reynolds is one of the most annoying actors to ever be on camera
It's incredibly lazy nonsense that wore out it's welcome about 10 minutes into the first movie. Unfortunately, there were about two hours that followed that 10 minutes, and there have now been two long, desperate movies after that.
Hugh Jackman shows up, and gets a paycheck. He does try, but even an incredibly gifted performer like Jackman can do absolutely nothing with this horrible material and seems stranded in snark-land with Reynolds and his cohorts, who include director Shawn Levy.
Levy is one of the worst, soulless, and least talented directors of Hollywood slop that has ever existed (his pathetic credits include: "Free Guy," the "Night at The Museum" movies, "The Internship," "Date Night," "The Pink Panther" (w/Steve Martin), "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Just Married,"...I could go on, but I won't), and his handling of the leaden humor, is almost as terrible as his handling of the special-effects-laden action scenes, which are inept, uninteresting, repetitive and painful.
A TON of cameos and surprise visits from Marvel (and Fox) characters don't help at all, and just feel forced, sad, and in most cases, dull as hell. Lots of people show up in this thing, and it all bombs...HARD.
The plot, which is openly mocked while also trying to be sincere (again, you can't have your cake and eat it too, folks) is secondary to Reynolds smart ass remarks, mugging and all-important smug attitude.
It's all self-satisfied jibber-jabber, disguised as a movie that is an insult to anyone with an IQ above 40.
And don't get me started on how they destroy one of the only truly great comic book movies (James Mangold's brilliant "Logan," which is easily the best comic book movie ever made, because it's NOT really a comic book movie...thank God) within the first two minutes, and it goes downhill from there.
These "Deadpool" movies are as bad as bad movies get...only worse, because they think they are brilliant satire, and edgy social commentary.
These movies are neither...they are base, poorly made, terribly written, idiotic comedies that exist to make audiences feel clever because they are "in on the joke."
Well, you're not "in on the joke," because the joke is: they got your money, and THEY are laughing all the way to the bank, knowing that you will line up for part 4 thinking that you're on the "inside." You're not.
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