"Can You Smell What The Rock is Cooking!?!"

I still like to call him The Rock. I know, I know... that was a lifetime ago, but for me it’s never going away. I’m a lifelong pro-wrestling fanatic (been watching since I was a kid, still watch every week as a 60-year-old) and if you go back through WWE history, The Rock isn’t just "The Great One;" he’s one of the greatest to ever lace up the boots.

In the ring? Smooth, athletic, generous, he always made the other person look good. On the mic? Forget it. There were stretches in the late ’90s and early 2000s where no one touched him.

Biting, hilarious, razor-sharp promos that moved stories, popped crowds, and became instant legend. Half the time you could hand him a microphone and he’d main-event the show with words alone.

For your absolute pleasure, here is The Rock destroying on the mic....for 30 minutes.

Now, the official bio stuff... let’s get that on the record, because the scope here is wild. Dwayne Douglas Johnson (born May 2, 1972) is the son of trailblazing wrestler Rocky Johnson and part of the famed Samoan wrestling dynasty on his mother’s side.

He bounced around growing up, played football, won a national title at the University of Miami in 1991, tried the CFL with Calgary, got cut, and then in 1996 took the family business into orbit with the WWF.

He became a 10-time world champion, Intercontinental champ, tag champ, Royal Rumble winner. He headlined WrestleMania six times, helped define the Attitude Era, and made “Finally…” and “Layeth the smackdown” part of the cultural wallpaper.

He left in 2004, came back part-time, retired, un-retired, returned again, and, yes, he’s still signed and pops in when he feels like electrifying the building.

These days he’s also co-owner of the United Football League, sits on the TKO Group board (the UFC/WWE parent), and co-founded Seven Bucks Productions, which is the machine behind a lot of what came next (including his latest, The Smashing Machine).

And then there’s the movie star. Inevitable, right? First it was The Mummy Returns (2001) and The Scorpion King (2002) (billed as The Rock, then “Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson,” and eventually just Dwayne Johnson), but the persona never really left.

He leaned into action, family adventure, and big crowd-pleasers: Fast Five turbo-charged the Fast & Furious series; the Jumanji reboots were massive hits (even if they’re not for me); you’ve got San Andreas, Skyscraper, Rampage (hey, watching a giant ape wreck my beloved Chicago? weirdly fun).

Central Intelligence, Red One, Jungle Cruise, Hercules, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Baywatch, Black Adam (all of these titles: woofs), and voice work as Maui in Moana (stone-cold classic) and Moana 2.

On TV: the HBO dramedy Ballers (one of the first times he played it straight without explosions) and the autobiographical, and sometimes entertaining, Young Rock.

Time Magazine twice put him on the “most influential” list. The receipts? The films have grossed $14.9 billion+ worldwide. Now that is movie-god money.

Here’s my critic brain, though: as a movie actor, he’s limited, and that’s okay. He is phenomenally charismatic, physically hilarious, a world-class talker, and an undeniable closer on four-quadrant entertainment. When scripts play to those strengths, he soars.

When they ask for nuance he doesn’t always have, it gets wobbly. That’s why the new one, The Smashing Machine, is interesting. It is the first project blatantly aimed at the “give Dwayne an Oscar” conversation. He’s good in it, not great; the movie has moments but it’s not the knockout they wanted.

Still, I respect the swing. And I’ll always maintain: the purest, most electrifying version of Dwayne Johnson will forever be The Rock with a live mic and a live crowd.

But here’s the point: despite the bloat, the bombs, and the billion-dollar juggernauts, there are five films where he either locks in the exact version of himself a movie needs, or he finds a different gear and elevates the whole thing.

Sometimes he’s the lead, sometimes he’s the spark-plug in a smaller role, but in each case, he adds immeasurably to the movie.

So, without further ado... or as the man himself would say, finally... are my five favorite Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson movies, ranked by my preference.

THE ROCK: RANKED

1) SOUTHLAND TALES (2006)

Richard Kelly’s apocalyptic neon fever dream where everybody’s wired, weird, and probably under surveillance. Dwayne plays Boxer Santaros, an amnesiac action star-turned-doomsday prophet with nervous hand flutters and a jittery vulnerability that you do not expect from The Rock.

It’s satire, sci-fi, showbiz, porn, politics, and energy crises thrown in a blender. The movie is messy and indulgent, and weirdly, and brilliantly beautiful.

This is the most actorly he’s ever been. He’s not “The Rock” here; he’s a skittish, half-broken Hollywood casualty wandering through a Lynchian parade. The movie’s a glorious trainwreck of a masterpiece, and I love it.

2) THE OTHER GUYS (2010)

Adam McKay detonates the buddy-cop genre and salts the earth. Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson show up as New York’s invincible super-cops, flexing, winking, and action-heroing so hard they basically parody every Bay movie ever made… and then they make the funniest exit in modern action-comedy history.

Their swagger cameo sets up the whole joke so Ferrell/Wahlberg can run away with it.

He’s on screen for minutes and steals the entire film’s tone. The opening chase alone is worth the price of admission, it is precision physical comedy disguised as action mayhem.

3) THE RUNDOWN (2003)

Old-school jungle adventure directed by Peter Berg. Johnson is Beck, a bounty hunter who wants out; Seann William Scott is the mouthy quarry; Rosario Dawson is the wild card; Christopher Walken chews scenery like it’s a food group.

The fights are clean, kinetic, funny, and Johnson balances deadpan intimidation with great comic timing.

This is the movie that proved he could carry a classic matinee romp. The “whip fight,” the thunder/rolling-down-the-hill gags, Walken’s “Tooth Fairy” speech... it’s a blast. If you only watch one pure actioner from him, make it this.

4) FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY (2019)

Stephen Merchant’s heartfelt, very British wrestling dramedy about Saraya/Paige (a star-making Florence Pugh). Johnson produces and pops in as The Rock (mentor, motivator, walking dopamine shot) and the movie nails the family-biz chaos of pro wrestling without sneering at it. It understands the grind, the psychology, the craft.

As a lifelong wrestling freak, this one got me right in the feelings. The Rock’s cameos aren’t vanity beats; they matter to Paige’s arc. And Pugh? Awesome. She pins the movie clean in the center of the ring.

5) WALKING TALL (2004)

A lean, blue-collar remake of the ’73 drive-in classic. Johnson plays a modernized Buford Pusser-type, an ex-soldier who comes home to find his town rotted by a sleazy casino and decides justice looks like a two-by-four.

It’s simple, unpretentious, and delivers crunchy, crowd-pleasing payback. Not subtle. Not trying to be. It’s a Saturday-night, fist-pump special with a star who knows exactly how to sell righteous anger and a mean right hook. Sometimes you just want the plank.

Thanks for reading, and please SUBSCRIBE to my weekly NEWSLETTER!

Join me on Patreon as a paid subscriber to help keep this thing going.

Thanks again!