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"Big Brother 26" That's a Wrap.

VOTE NOW card from Big Brother Season 26 with pictures of all houseguests

Yeah, I watch "Big Brother."


 Yeah, I know it's stupid. Yeah, you should mock me. But I don't care; I love it. I love it even though it's really dumb and often aggravating.


And boy, was Season 26 aggravating.


Mix a house full of idiots with obnoxious AI characters, unimaginative challenges, lots and LOTS of crying, and no one worth rooting for, and you've pretty much got BB 26 in a nutshell.


Oh, yeah, I almost forgot Julie Chen Moonves, the most annoying host in television history.

Julie Chen Moonves revealing the final votes from the Jury.
The always irritating Julie Chen Moonves revealing the final votes from the Jury.

I often wonder why I still watch the damn thing, but I guess after watching it for over 20 years, I feel an obligation to tune in. I haven't watched one millisecond of the 24-hour live streams in two seasons, so I still have a bit of dignity.


Anyway, my thoughts on BB 26 are not positive, mainly because the house contained unlikable and obnoxious people who were a chore to watch, let alone root for. I won't list all of the 16 houseguests, but trust me, there were only a couple who didn't want to make me kick my TV in and a couple more who were fun to watch, even though they were jagoffs.


At first, I kinda liked the mustachioed video store clerk Joseph, but he turned out to be an annoying dipshit.


Then, I took a liking to Leah, the VIP cocktail server who had a thing for chubby guys, but ultimately, she made some of the absolute dumbest moves in "Big Brother" history. There was Cedric, who seemed OK but got booted early.


Kimo, Rubina and T'kor were a trio that I was sort of rooting for briefly, simply because I didn't want to punch them in the face every time they were on screen. Of those three, I particularly liked the cute, bright, crocheting T'kor, who was easily my favorite houseguest of the season and had a fabulous Southern/English accent. When she got evicted on week 9, I just didn't care anymore as the remainder of the houseguests continued to play.


The competitions included many fan favorites, such as BB Comics, the OTEV musical chairs-style contest, the hang-on-to-the-wall endurance comp, the egg-moving challenge, and a few more.


By the way, even Zingbot seemed bored by these contestants when he visited to insult them; the result was, by far, the least entertaining visit by the beloved Don-Rickles-Robot of "Big Brother" ever.

Ainsley the AI character from Big Brother Season 26
Ainsley is the creepy new A.I. character added to the mix to cause trouble in the house.

The new, desperate AI twist seemed to be thrown in as a lame attempt to be hip and timely, but it just turned out to be stupid. Ainsley was the creepy AI character who appeared on screens throughout the house to stir things up and cause chaos.

Jankie, the robot character from Big Brother Season 26
This is Jankie, the robot character who tortured the houseguests with non-stop dancing, singing, pizza & ice-cream eating mayhem. For his troubles, he was murdered.

Then, there was "Jankie World," an outdoor carnival landscape hosted by another AI entity called Jankie that the houseguests had to live in during week 9. Jankie was unendingly cheerful and kept making the houseguests dance, sing, eat pizza and ice cream, and party whenever he commanded, day or night. As Kimo put it, "It was like being held hostage by a toddler from hell." Also, Jankie was murdered.


Every season there are a few truly annoying guests that stand out, and this season there were SEVERAL: Cam, a floater who sucked at every competition but somehow made it to the final three. Brooklyn, the self-proclaimed "Badass MILF" who ended up shooting herself in the foot with her actions. Lisa, a celebrity chef with a thing for glitter, was mercifully evicted on week 2.


But the trio of Quinn, Tucker, and Angela take the cake as the most unbearably annoying houseguests of the season. I HATED every single one of them and rooted for them to get booted out during every single episode until they were finally evicted.

Contestant Quinn from Big Brother Season 26
This is Quinn. He is a jagoff.

The way too cocky Quinn, with his long hair, wispy-I'm-not-able-to-grow-a-real mustache, and his tendency to SCREAM every word he uttered in the Diary Room, was a real treat. Sidebar: his last name is Martin, so I was hoping for some "The Fugitive,"  "Cannon," "Barnaby Jones," or "The Streets of San Francisco" jokes, but, alas, no.

Contestant Tucker in the middle of other contestants from Big Brother Season 26
Tucker is in the center. Even during the finale he couldn't stop screaming, acting like a jackass and stealing focus.
Julie Chen Moonves holding up a card that shows "Tucker" as the winner of America's Favorite Houseguest
...and the moron was voted "America's Favorite Houseguest," because America is stupid.

Tucker was the "crazy" guy who stirred up the most trouble in the house and took insane risks during his game, which some people might find entertaining. The problem was that he was a loud, obnoxious, camera-hog jagoff whose crazy hairdos and clothing only added to my disdain for this moron. Inexplicably, he was voted "America's Favorite Houseguest" and given $50,000 when he should have just gotten a kick in the nuts.

Contestant Angela from Big Brother Season 26
This is Angela. In my opinion, the absolute most annoying and unlikable houseguest in BB history.

Then there was Angela... oh my God, Angela. Perhaps the most unlikable, annoying, obnoxious windbag in the show's history. She had an insane meltdown around day three, during which she called houseguest Matt "Crazy-eyes" and acted like a loon that should have gotten her booted immediately. Still, she stuck around until week 11, when she was finally evicted. I've never hated a houseguest more than Angela during my entire time watching the show.

Contestant Makensy from Big Brother Season 26
This is Makensy. She should have won, but she came in second place, because she's an idiot.

So, it came down to Chelsie and Makensy as the final two in the finale.


This happened after dipshit Makensy decided to evict Cam instead of Chelsie, pretty much guaranteeing her loss. Chelsie played a clever social game, and Makensy was a Comp-Beast but played an unbelievably stupid social game. That was it. Chelsie got the $750,000 with a unanimous vote from the Jury, becoming the second black female to win the whole thing, the third black houseguest overall to win, and the first woman to ever win unanimously.


Julie Chen Moonves with Chelsie, the winner of Big Brother Season 26
Julie with Chelsie, the winner of Big Brother 26...and I couldn't care less.

So, good for Chelsie. I just didn't give a shit.


I have to say, I always have fun watching "Big Brother," even when it's at its most annoying. I spend much of my time yelling at the TV because I know what's coming, and it's kind of comforting.


I also love to hate Julie Chen Moonves and yell at the screen almost every time she speaks. The best episode of the season was when Jerry O'Connell filled in for an ailing Chen Moonves during a Live Eviction Night, proving that even a limited goofball like O'Connell is an awesome replacement for Julie and her stupid catchphrases and oversized pants and sleeves.

Julie Chen Moonves and the title card for CBS Big Brother

Yep, another "Big Brother" season is in the books, and despite my many complaints, I watched every episode, and I will do it all over again next summer when 16 more dipshits move into the house for Season 27.


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