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Let’s face it—if a new movie is based on a video game, there’s a 99.9% chance it’s going to suck. That’s just the reality. Historically, movies based on video games have an absolutely terrible track record. In fact, they might have the worst track record of any movie subgenre. So, in “honor” of the release of the Minecraft  movie—yes, a Minecraft  movie starring Jack Black and Jason Momoa , which (spoiler alert) is not good—I decided to take on the nearly impossible task of