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I am busting out my reliable Film Critic's pants to review four new movies in this week's capsule (short) movie reviews for Friday, February 7, 2025.
1) HEART EYES
The horror-comedy genre is a tricky balance to pull off. For every "Scream" or "Happy Death Day," plenty of movies either lean too hard into the horror and forget to be funny or go full comedy and leave the horror as an afterthought. But when done right, it's a blast.
Directed by Josh Ruben ("Werewolves Within") and written by a solid trio—Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon ("Happy Death Day," "Freaky"), and Michael Kennedy ("Scream: The TV Series")—this film is part romantic comedy, part slasher, all chaos, and....it totally works.
The film centers on two co-workers (played by Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding) stuck working late on Valentine's Day. What should be a quiet, uneventful night quickly turns into a nightmare when they're mistaken for a couple by the infamous Heart Eyes Killer—a masked maniac with a twisted obsession with "love."
The concept is simple and works because the filmmakers lean into its absurdity. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously but doesn't completely let go of the horror elements. It's also hilarious, with sharp dialogue and fun character interactions that make you actually care about the people involved.
Casting can make or break a movie like this, and "Heart Eyes" really delivers on that front. Holt and Gooding have fantastic chemistry, effortlessly selling both the rom-com and horror aspects. Their dynamic starts off as a bit of an "opposites-attract" workplace tension, but as they're forced to rely on each other to survive, their relationship develops in a way that feels surprisingly organic—even amidst all the bloodshed.
Gigi Zumbado, Michaela Watkins (an absolute riot), and Jordana Brewster round out the supporting cast, bringing comedic and dramatic weight to the film. And then there's Devon Sawa—yes, "Final Destination" legend Devon Sawa—who pops up in a fun, meta role that horror fans will absolutely eat up.
If there's one thing Landon (who co-wrote and produced the film) knows how to do, it's mixing horror and comedy without losing sight of either. "Happy Death Day" and "Freaky" proved that he understands how to create a horror movie that's thrilling but still loaded with humor, and "Heart Eyes" continues that streak. The kills are inventive, the suspense sequences are well-executed, and the humor is sharp without undercutting the tension.
One of the best things about "Heart Eyes" is its self-awareness. The movie knows exactly what it is—a playful, gory Valentine's Day massacre with a heart. It takes all the tropes of rom-coms and slasher flicks and twists them into something fresh.
There are nods to classic horror films, a scene in which "His Girl Friday" is prominently featured, and a truly hilarious running gag involving the names of the two lead detectives, which references a series of movies in which Jordana Brewster actually stars. But the movie never feels like it's just relying on references—it carves out its own identity.
Bottom line: "Heart Eyes" delivers the goods. It's a bloody, hilarious, and surprisingly charming ride perfect for horror fans who like their slashes served with satire and romance. I had a blast with it. - ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
There's dark, and then there's too dark. Christopher Andrews' "Bring Them Down" firmly falls into the latter category, delivering a film so unrelentingly bleak and completely devoid of tonal variation that it becomes exhausting.
Yes, there's talent in front of and behind the camera. Yes, the cinematography is stunning. And yes, there are some powerful moments. But ultimately, the film is so steeped in its own misery that it forgets to be engaging, let alone enjoyable.
The film is set in rural Ireland, where Michael (Christopher Abbott) runs his family's sheep farm alone, taking care of his disabled father (Colm Meaney) while carrying the immense guilt of his mother's death in a car accident—one that he was responsible for.
If that's not enough, his ex, Caroline (Nora-Jane Noone), who was also in the accident and bears the physical scars, is now married to Gary (Paul Ready), another sheep farmer.
Things kick off when their son, Jack (Barry Keoghan), accuses Michael of having two of his prize rams killed, reopening old wounds and igniting a feud between the two families. What follows is a film drenched in hostility, violence, and a whole lot of staring out into the rain while contemplating doom.
The biggest issue with "Bring Them Down" is its lack of tonal variation. The film starts dark and stays there. There's no sense of escalation, no built-in tension—just unrelenting bleakness. There's no humor to offset the darkness, no warmth to make us feel invested in the characters' relationships, and no real moments of relief. Instead, the film just pounds the audience with misery from start to finish.
Even the performances, which should be a significant highlight given the stacked cast, feel restrained by the film's grim tone. Abbott, a phenomenal actor, is stuck playing a character who is essentially a human embodiment of despair. Meaney, usually fantastic, is given little to do beyond grumbling and adding to the general gloom.
And Keoghan, who has mastered the art of unsettling intensity in films like "The Killing of a Sacred Deer" and "Mammal," feels underutilized here. These are great actors, but the script and direction allow for no range, no moments of complexity beyond sheer suffering.
This movie is brutal—and not in a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat way—more in a "why am I still watching this?" way. There is an excessive amount of violence, and perhaps even worse, the most instances of animal mutilation I've seen in a film in a long time. While some films can use violence to enhance a story or create genuine stakes, it feels overdone here. Instead of evoking emotion, it becomes numbing.
If there's one thing "Bring Them Down" has going for it, it's the visuals. The cinematography is impressive, capturing rural Ireland's stark, desolate beauty. But even here, the film falls into cliché. The relentless rain, bleak landscapes, and never-ending gray skies feed into the stereotype that Ireland is a perpetually depressing place.
If you go into this film thinking Ireland is a dark, miserable place, "Bring Them Down" will confirm every stereotype you've ever had. And if you're looking for a slow-burn, character-driven drama with depth and nuance, you won't find it here. It's a waste of talented actors and impressive cinematography, all in service of a film that's just too bleak for its own good. - ⭐️⭐️
3) LOVE HURTS
Some movies are so bad they're almost fun. Others are just plain bad. And then there's "Love Hurts," a movie so aggressively terrible that it makes you question if anyone involved had ever seen a good action-comedy.
This was the longest 83 minutes of my life—easily the worst action movie I've seen in a long time and, so far, the worst movie of 2025.
The film follows Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan), a former hitman who has left the life of contract killing behind to become—you guessed it—a real estate agent. But his past catches up with him when his estranged, vengeful brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu) comes looking for him, forcing Marvin back into action.
Even though this setup has been done a million times before, it's still the kind of premise that could have made for a fun, absurdist, action-packed romp—except it doesn't.
Instead of leaning into its potential, "Love Hurts" squanders every opportunity with terrible storytelling, sloppy direction, and fight scenes so incoherent you'll wonder if the editors were trying to win a world record for most cuts in a single sequence.
Jonathan Eusebio, making his directorial debut, is a stunt coordinator—something he has excelled at in "John Wick," "The Bourne Legacy," and "Black Panther." That does not mean he should be directing a feature film.
As brilliant as they are, the "John Wick" movies have unfortunately inspired an influx of lesser directors who think they can slap together some gun-fu, quick edits, and neon lighting and call it a day.
The result is a growing list of wannabe "John Wick" clones ("Atomic Blonde," "Bullet Train," "Violent Night") that lack everything that made those movies work: clean action choreography, a well-paced story, and interesting characters.
Eusebio's biggest failure isn't just in how he handles the action—it's in how bad the movie is as a whole. The film is a complete mess structurally. It's told in flashbacks, voiceovers, multiple perspectives, and narration that contradicts what's actually happening on screen.
It's as if four different writers (which is almost the case) were each working on separate versions of the film, and no one bothered to consolidate them into a coherent script.
Marvin's character arc is nonexistent. Knuckles, his supposedly terrifying brother, is a stock villain with zero depth. Ariana DeBose plays Rose, Marvin's love interest and she's completely wasted in the role. She's a fantastic actress ("West Side Story" proved that), but every single movie she's done since has been a misfire, and this might be the worst one yet.
And let's talk about the comedy—or, more accurately, the absolute lack of it. The film thinks it's funny, but every single attempt at humor lands with a deafening thud. Marshawn Lynch, who was hilarious in "Bottoms," is given some of the worst lines of dialogue I've heard in years. Sean Astin shows up to wear a cowboy hat and do an unidentifiable accent. Nothing about this movie works.
With Eusebio's stunt background, you'd think the one thing this movie would get right is the action. You'd be wrong. The fights are some of the worst-choreographed, most poorly edited-action scenes I've seen in a long time. Quick cuts, shaky camera work, incomprehensible angles—if there was any actual skill in the fight choreography, you wouldn't know because the editing turns everything into a mess.
And when the action isn't bad, it's derivative. Every sequence feels ripped from better movies, from "John Wick" to old-school Jackie Chan films. But where those movies had clarity, creativity, and impact, this has nothing. Even Cam Gigandet—who's known for being a decent fighter—barely gets to do anything.
Oh yeah... This is supposed to be a Valentine's Day movie as well. I guess that makes sense since it has the word "love" in the title, but it fails as a romance just as badly as it fails as an action movie and a comedy. There's zero chemistry between Quan and DeBose, the love story is shoehorned in, and the romantic moments are painfully forced.
So, to recap:
As an action movie? Awful.
As a comedy? Unwatchable.
As a thriller? A joke.
As a love story? Absolutely not.
This movie manages to fail in every genre it attempts.
"Love Hurts" is a complete disaster. It's an insult to action movies, a black hole of comedy, a failure of storytelling, and a waste of talent. Eusebio might be a fantastic stunt coordinator, but this proves he's not a director. The script is incomprehensible, the performances are wasted, the action is a mess, and the humor is nonexistent.
Even at just 83 minutes, this felt like a lifetime, and this is easily one of the worst films of the year, and we're only in February. - ⭐️
As a lifelong Led Zeppelin fan, I've consumed everything about the band—every album, every book, every rumor. I've read "Hammer of the Gods," devoured every unauthorized biography, and, most importantly, I was lucky enough to see them live in their prime.
So when I heard that "Becoming Led Zeppelin" was finally giving us a full-fledged, band-sanctioned documentary, I was both excited and skeptical. Zeppelin has famously been tight-lipped about their history, especially the wilder, more chaotic elements that turned them into legends both on and off stage.
Now that I've seen the film, I can say this: it is exactly what the title promises—no more, no less. "Becoming Led Zeppelin" is a documentary that chronicles how Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones, and John Bonham came together, their early years, and their meteoric rise to become one of the biggest rock bands ever.
It is packed with incredible footage, great performances, and insightful reflections from the band. But it is also a film that plays things very safe, steering clear of the debauchery, destruction, and chaos that made Led Zeppelin as infamous as they were legendary.
The film traces the individual paths of Page, Plant, Jones, and Bonham as they navigate the 1960s music scene before fate finally brings them together in 1968.
We see Page transitioning from a prolific session guitarist to a member of The Yardbirds, Plant, and Bonham, playing in various bands before their fateful meeting with Page and Jones, the quiet virtuoso, establishing himself as a sought-after musician.
Once they unite, the film documents their rapid evolution from unknowns to the biggest rock act on the planet by 1970.
The storytelling is framed exclusively through the words of the surviving band members—Page, Plant, and Jones—along with archival interviews of the late John Bonham. That's it.
No producers, outside perspectives, historians, or modern musicians reflecting on Zeppelin's influence—just the band telling their version of events.
And that's both a strength and a limitation. On one hand, it provides an intimate, first-hand account of how Led Zeppelin became Led Zeppelin. On the other, it ensures that the story remains tightly controlled, with no room for the warts-and-all narrative that many fans (myself included) might have hoped for.
Let's be honest—Led Zeppelin was just as notorious off-stage as they were on it. They were a force of nature in the 1970s, redefining what it meant to be a "rock god" in every excess-laden way possible.
The drinking, the drugs, the infamous hotel room destruction, the groupie horror stories, the bizarre occult fascinations, and, of course, John Bonham's tragic death from alcohol poisoning—none of that makes its way into this film.
Now, I get it. This is their documentary. They had full control over the narrative and were never going to expose themselves in the way something like "The Beatles: Get Back" or "Some Kind of Monster" did. But for longtime fans who know the real stories—the good, the bad, and the ugly—there's an undeniable sense that this film is pulling its punches.
That said, if you're looking for amazing Zeppelin footage, this documentary delivers. There are full-length performances, rare concert footage from the early days, and unseen archival material that will leave hardcore fans stunned.
Some of this stuff has never been shown before and is beautifully restored and presented. Seeing this in IMAX was a next-level experience—the sound mix is phenomenal, the visuals are stunning, and when Zeppelin hits their groove onstage, it's pure magic.
If you're a hardcore Zeppelin fan, you're going to love it. Seeing previously unreleased footage, hearing Bonham's archived interviews, and reliving those early performances on the biggest screen possible is an absolute thrill. See this in IMAX if you can—the sound and visuals are worth it.
For casual fans, it might be a tougher sell. Without the full, messy, unvarnished truth, this film might feel more like a well-produced PBS special than an iconic rock documentary. But hey, they didn't lie in the title—this is about "Becoming Led Zeppelin," and in that regard, it succeeds.
So, do I wish this film went deeper? Absolutely. But did I enjoy every second of watching Zeppelin come to life on screen? You better believe it. If you love Led Zeppelin, this is a no-brainer. Just don't expect them to spill any secrets. - ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
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